Brow-beaten into weary submission under the avalanche of statistics being thrown at us re POTUS/FLOTUS/the 2 First Teenagers/their entourage (1600 people, 1800 people, 2000 people. At this stage, does it really matter?) I was thrilled beyond belief this morning to read about the dogs.
No, no, not the First Dog who, I imagine is staying cosily behind in DC, but the K9 dogs.
So come on, let’s hear it for the American dogs who are coming here to sniff out any explosives we may not have noticed, and to stay in suites at 5 star hotels.
I kid you not.
The K9s who are in town (and more of whom are arriving with POTUS & FLOTUS) make for much more fascinating reading than all the excitable prose about sanitising road corridors and how many hours our airspace will be closed for the Americans.
Can’t beat a good shaggy dog story, and reading this while Tommy and Yoko rolled around tussling and generally trying to get me to play with them on a miserably wet grey day, I thought…yes, well why ever not…
Why ever not offer this suggestion to Mr. Modi…
Mr Modi, I am sure there will be talks with POTUS during which technology will be transferred, and perhaps some loans will be sanctioned, and who knows, a few treaties may well be signed, so…
Couldn’t you please ask that nice Mr. Obama to send over some of his super duper dog trainers, so that we too can have our own pukka K-9 unit. Just think…we already have thousands of super savvy street dogs here in Delhi that always outwit every attempt at rounding them up and sterilising them…they are clearly smart critters that survive on the unforgiving, unwelcoming Delhi streets…just think, if they could be trained to sniff out explosives, what a great step forward would that be for all we normal mango people?
Better still, if these dogs are so clever, and the trainers are so great, couldn’t we train our desi street dogs to hunt down all the other things that ail us in life?
Couldn’t they be trained to detect people who pee in public? Bark loudly, even jump up at them if they make a move to unzip?
Couldn’t they be taught to bark and howl each time someone dumps rubbish or chucks garbage on the street? Every time someone spits?
The possibilities are endless.
And being 3rd world critters, they wouldn’t expect any of this 5 star hotel suite nonsense. Just a meal, and some love.
In conclusion…these American K9s are, we are told, “taking control of Rajpath”.
EXCUSE ME – what about all our very own, home-grown street dogs who loll around on Rajpath, and whose home it is?
Where are they?
Have they been moved along, to make way for the 5 star-suite-walas?
Will they submit tamely to this phoren invasion?
Where is this chap, for example, one of my many early morning running mates? There he was, lolling like a pasha, right in front of Raisina Hill.
I think we should be told.