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November 22nd, 2019

About India’s samosa-eating monkeys

Before I begin chatting about the food habits of India’s monkeys, let me make one thing clear. I am as worried as the next person about what we call the “monkey menace” here in Delhi.

Basically there are way too many aggressive monkeys trying to survive in an even more aggressive city, and the human/wild animal co-existence is not a happy one

In fact, just this morning, out running in Lutyens Delhi, I crossed the street to avoid a troop of monkeys.

They are wild creatures and any interaction with humans is not a good idea. Not at all.

Yesterday, our esteemed politicians talked about the monkey menace in Parliament.

One of our most esteemed politicians, the former Bollywood actress Hema Malini (yes indeed, she who skipped last week’s meeting about the pollution crisis. Well remembered) so yes, Ms Malini spoke out about the country’s monkeys.

And I quote :

“Monkeys have picked up food habits of humans which is not healthy for them. They don’t want fruits now, but samosa & fruity


The good parliamentarian has a point.

And if proof were needed that Indian monkeys do indeed like boxed fruit juices, one of her parliamentary colleagues shared a story in support of her speech :

“Other members of parliament extended their support to the BJP MP. Trinamool Congress MP Sudip Bandyopadhyay said his spectacles were snatched by monkeys during a visit to the temple town

“I had only taken a step or two and there was a feeling that I was being touched. Suddenly, I found there were no spectacles on my eyes. It was unbelievable,” he said, adding Frooti packs were offered to the monkey to recover his spectacles.”


There you go.


Frooty packs to the rescue.

The answer to this monkey menace is simple – we idiotic idiot humans have to stop feeding wild animals.

It is we idiot humans who are making these creatures so aggressive.

Ms Malini has a suggestion :

“Also, there should be fruit bearing trees in forests.”


Not quite sure, though, how we are gonna tackle this one…Are we all to toddle off and plant fruit-bearing trees in the jungle, all of a sudden?

Then Ms Malini says something that does confound me, I confess.

I’m quoting ANI here, by the way:

“Hema Malini, BJP MP from Mathura: I’ve demanded a Monkey Safari (in Mathura) for safety of monkeys.”

And how exactly would that work? Monkeys in an enclosure, while humans drive/walk through?

Not quite on a par with planting fruit trees.

However, there is a sting in this monkey tail, as it were.

Ms Malini’s constituents are not happy with her for raising this issue in Parliament.

Not. One. Bit:


Now I’m even more confused.

In the meantime, I shall continue crossing the street to avoid the critters, and not making eye contact (advice given a few years ago), and most definitely I’ll keep my samosa and Frooty out of range.

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