That Mr. Shakespeare knew a thing or two about walls, I tell ya.

Did you know that India is building a wall, especially for Mr. Trump?

Seriously, how lovely are we?

Mr & Mrs Trump arrive on the 24th for a very short visit to India.

A really quick visit. Not even 2 full days.

But they are getting a wall, which is pretty swell, don’t you agree?

Out of sight, out of mind

The Wall is all part of the sprucing up of the city of Ahmedabad, where they will spend about 3 hours. India’s Glorious Leader is having a big wall built along the road from the airport, to hide the slums from the view of America’s Glorious Leader.

Pity about the grammatical mistakes, but – hey, no offence intended, it is for the Trumps, after all, so…

Back in January 2015 when the Obamas came a-callin’ in Delhi, I had written a blog post imploring them to stay here for ever, ‘cos that way the city would get permanently spruced up.

As far as I know, all those upgraded street lights promised for the Obama visit never materialised, sad to say – or if they did, they materialised for just for a day or two, and then the city slumped back into its habitual ill-lit, dusty, noisy self.

Now there’s one thing you should know about me.

I am a born optimist.

And so, with much excitement at the imminent arrival in the ‘hood of Mr. & Mrs. Trump, I am yet again hopeful that we will all benefit from the sprucing up.

The lucky folk of Ahmedabad, for example, are getting not just The Wall, they are also getting gazillions of flowers along the road in from the airport.

The poor old slum dwellers, of course, won’t get to see anything, however, courtesy of The Wall.

Not only that, paan shops have been ordered to close, so that people won’t buy it and spit on The Wall.

Perhaps they’ll build loads of toilets too, so that people won’t…you know…pee on The Wall.

All manner of things are being done to make sure Mr & Mrs T see India at her best.

Water is being released into the river Yamuna so that it will flow nicely past the Taj Mahal which, inshallah, won’t smell, as it apparently does these days.

The Taj is even getting a quick facial, bless her. A kind of archeological mud pack, to clean her up.

Soldiers armed with catapults are fanning out in Agra to tackle what is referred to here in India as the monkey menace – namely, macaques that harass people. (Remind me to tell you how many times I change my running route to avoid the monkeys that swarm over Delhi).

So, with this kind of beautification & all-round tarting up, I am ALL in favour of these phoren VIPs coming here and staying as long as they like.

They get to see an air-brushed version of India but who cares, if we get street lights & no paan stains?

Mr. & Mrs T, feel free to stay as long as y’all want.

Signed,

We, the humble tax payers of India.

This dear man worships Mr. T
Ah, India…

4 Comments

  1. Madhusudan Menon

    You don’t understand Christine..we want to impress him with our wall, so we can get the contract to build his Mexican wall..as pink floyd would say…
    All in all he is just another prick, with no wall..

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