Mr. Trump & Mrs. Trump & daughter Trump & son-in-law Trump have all landed safely in India, you’ll be thrilled to learn.

The so-called leader of the free World will, in his brief 3 hour sojourn in the western city of Ahmedabad, squeeze in a hi tea.

HEY!!!

I KNOW it is usually written as high tea, I know, I know, but:

a) this is for the Trumps, after all

b) perhaps it is meant to say “Hello tea,” but they Americanised it.

Whatever the reason, let us not quibble about grammar nor spelling, and let us rather examine the menu for said “Hi tea”.

Firstly, please don’t miss that this Hi tea is for VVIPs.

So glad we sorted that one out.

This is a cracker of a feast, I think you”ll all agree.

Canned juice and tetra-pack coconut water

I mean why on earth would you get fresh coconuts, readily available, when you can generate plastic waste, right?

Live counter tea coffee

American/English/Darjeeling/Assam/Earl grey/Green and Lemon tea…er, excuse me, where’s the promised coffee, then?

Those yummy cookies, though.

And as for that “Broccoli & corn button samosa” – whew!

What A Culinary Concoction.

Not exactly being a Gujarati veggie domestic goddess, I have absolutely no idea what a corn button samosa is, but I do have a couple of questions, which perhaps you can answer:

Is it a “corn button” samosa?

Or is it perhaps a corn “button samosa“?

And what, pray, is a corn button when it’s at home?

And for that matter, what is a button samosa when it’s at home?

And what does this fabled corn button thingamajig look like?

I think we should be told.

Dessert

Ah ha!

NOW I understand why they are serving canned juice…they are saving the fruit for the last bit – the exotic fresh fruit platter.

Makes total sense, now.

Looks like one yummy spread.

23 Comments

  1. Sanjeev Chhabra

    Welcome to West India!
    Here a samosa is a miny samosa, the size of a momo, and pretty flat. That’s what you get when you ask for a samosa in Gujarat, Maharashtra, Goa and the South. When you want the big, potato stuffed one that you get in Delhi, you ask for a Punjabi Samosa. So don’t be surprised when you are the counter, and someone yells, “Ek Punjabi dena!”
    The dress we call salwar kameez in Delhi, is, in West India, again called ‘Punjabi Suit.’

    Some smart staff member from the Govt. Copywriters team must have anglicised the samosa with the funky adjective to show it’s not the samosa you get in New Jersey.

    I didn’t invent this. I learned this the hard way from my 14 years outside Delhi.
    And yes, googling Corn Button samosa throws up the images of the stuff I am talking about.
    By the way, anyone who has had a ‘Punjabi’, can never be satisfied with these Corn Buttons.

  2. Kavitha Kanaparthi

    I actually wasted precious minutes of my time reading it! Blah. Who the heck came up with that menu? Tetrapak coconut water? Really? When bloody fresh water can be found anywhere in this country? Everything is packed on this menu except for the samosas!! Fresh fresh fresh it could have been all around, but hey, who can not be surprised by the fake-ness of these two?

  3. Seema Sharma

    Omg I can’t stop laughing!!
    On another note…the whole motorcade passed in front of our house here in Delhi. Every tree on our street has a camera. There was security everywhere. You know how everyone is here….all the drivers/ workers/ inhabitants etc on Ferozeshah road were lined up to see the motorcade, but security officers removed everyone from the streets and I believe there were folks that had flocked their building balconies and roof top to see them pass!?

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