As Robert Browning might well have said, had he been asked.
(“Oh, to be in England
Now that April’s there...”
So yes, paraphrasing this lovely poem:
“Oh, to be a cow in India’s Uttar Pradesh state”.
Because the government is now providing oxymeters for cows.
Yup, you read that right.
And no. This is not a late April Fool’s joke.
I am absolutely serious.
Mr. Ajay Bisht aka Yogi Adityanath aka the Chief Minister of India’s most populous state, takes the welfare of cows very seriously.
To wit, and I quote:
“The cow shelters will also be equipped with all the medical equipment such as oxymeters and thermal scanners for cows and other animals as well.”
Now, as a vegetarian and a bit of a crazy dog & cat lady to boot, I have absolutely nothing against animal protection. On the contrary. I’m all for it.
I am a closet lover of the cows that amble down the streets of my supposedly smart south Delhi neighbourhood. Sometimes, if there is a particularly scrawny, hungry looking cow, I share my pre-run banana with it.
I have been known to grab plastic bags from cows’ mouths before they chomped them.
But oxymeters for stray cattle in the midst of the current Coronavirus pandemic?
When there are no oxymeters to be found in chemists.
When there are no beds.
BUT, and I REALLY need someone to answer this (perhaps my clever nephew Steve, who is a vet)…how would you even use an oxymeter on a cow?
What should a cow’s pulse be, as a matter of interest?
Are their oxygen levels the same as humans?
So many questions.
So few oxymeters for humans.