How to Conman 101

Now please DON’T judge me for what I’m about to say, but…I am, deep down, just a wee bit envious of the chutzpah of one Mr. Kiran Patel.

Mr. Patel is a Gujarati and an alleged conman who “impersonated being a close aide for Prime Minister Narendra Modi…Patel was conferred with Z-plus security cover, a bulletproof SUV and official accommodation at a five-star hotel in Jammu and Kashmir“

You have to hand it to Mr. Patel, who has been swanning around Kashmir with armed security and armoured cars, for having – well – the chutzpah to get away with all this, PLUS posting it all on social media.

To wit:

The press now openly call him a conman, his wife says he’s innocent & the victim of a conspiracy (well, she would say that, wouldn’t she?) but in the interests of impartiality, I shall refer to Mr. Patel as an “alleged” conman 😛

Conman Kiran J Patel is a resident of Gujarat and has been accused of running several successful scams by posing as a top government official from the PMO. Patel used to travel with Z+ security, in a bulletproof Scorpio and four vehicles in his convoy, which were easy to fool anyone into thinking that he was a government official.

According to authorities, Kiran Patel had claimed that he was visiting Jammu and Kashmir to identify apple orchards in the South Kashmir area. He also name-dropped several high-ranking officials and ministers, and was granted a five-star hotel stay for his ‘official visits’.

As written on his Twitter profile, Kiran Patel has a PhD from Commonwealth University, Virginia, an MBA from IIM Trichy, as well as an M Tech in Computer Science and BE in computer engineering. His Twitter profile is also verified and has a blue tick.

Now I’m just a tax-paying, insignificant nobody, but I am allowed, surely, to gawp at the apparent ease with which this bloke got himself all that security?

Given that (in a manner of speaking) it is my tax rupees that help fund this security, I think I’m entitled to ask one simple question like WHO THE HELL SIGNS OFF ON Z+ LEVEL SECURITY?

Do you just rock up and claim, as Mr. Patel apparently did, that you are an advisor to the PM, and then you get whatever you want? Including 5 star hotel accommodation, please note.

Isn’t there ANY mechanism for, you know, checking a bloke’s credentials?

Or is the mere fact of saying you work for the PM enough to over-ride all protocols?

Because, surely, protocols must exist, right?

For non-Indians (and people like me who’ve never actually bothered to probe too deeply into the world of tax-payer-funded security) here is what Wikipedia has to say about Mr. Patel’s level of security, Z+ :

Z+ category is a security detail of 55 personnel, including 10+ NSG commandos and police personnel.

So, I repeat.

Who the hell signs off on this kind of thing?

The Hindu has more to say on the subject our alleged conman – apparently he cheated people in his home state of Gujarat – but no police action was ever taken.

Curioser and curioser.

You know what I think?

I think his bragging on Twitter may have helped his downfall…I mean anyone who describes himself as a Thinker (with a capital T) in his Twitter bio is deeply suspect in my book.

Yours,

Disgruntled Tax Payer (with a capital T and P)

PS: I suppose someone has checked out his degrees.